There is a form of healing and counseling that is effective for bringing healing and balance to our life, via our root chakra. Yet, despite the success of healing related to intimacy and sexuality, it is still frowned upon by so-called open-minded healers and therapists.
In view of the controversy and edginess of such subjects, there are several boundaries and precautions that must be observed in order to distinguish true sexual healing (via sexual therapy) from unhealthy sexual experiences. Although many who seek to give or receive healing related to sexual issues might feel inclined to jump straight into learning sacred sexuality, it’s always best to look at one’s personal issues around sexuality first.
The Three Phases of Sexual Therapy
In most cases, there are three phases of sexual therapy and they should progress in this order:
- Contact (hands-on) Therapy
- Sacred Sexuality.
The Counseling Level
Beginning with the counseling level of healing is important as it helps us build a healthy and safe foundation for healing, as well as helping us to gather information about our internal and external sexual history—positive and negative.
The Contact Level
This can include physical bodywork, sensual massage, and even exercises in arousal. This level is a natural progression from the counseling level and allows us to work at a deeper level—literally into the tissue of the body—wherein we might find cellular memory of issues and traumas.
The Sacred Sexuality Level
This is, of course, the most controversial level because it is mistakenly assumed (by both healers and clients) that the act of sex, in itself, can be healing. But it’s never the act! It’s the intention and the love that is shared. In other words, sex cannot heal, but love can. The sexual level can be healing, but if we progress through the first two levels properly, the third level might never be needed (at least not from a friend or healer). And when sexual healing takes place, it must always be done slowly and within the spirit of loving respect, safety, and the desire to feel a Divine Presence.
Sexual Healing Is Not as Rare as We Might Imagine
In a sense, each of us is offering a subtle form of sexual therapy whenever we help others feel beautiful (yet not objectified). Complimenting and encouraging someone’s beauty or value fits the general definition of sexual therapy because such positive feedback helps them to awaken their desire to “feel alive” and/or awaken their sensual self. Such “random acts of kindness” bring miracles to the recipient—healing them at a level that most people fail to navigate.
Some Goals and Benefits of Sexual Therapy Include
- Releasing trauma
- Restoring the body’s normal functions
- Releasing unhealthy inhibitions
- Releasing shame
- Allowing a greater sense of self-esteem and personal beauty
Who Is It That Does Sexual Therapy?
There are counselors who specialize in this field, as well as individuals who have studied the arts of sacred sexuality. The latter group are often wonderfully effective, but having a background in the psychology of trauma is highly recommended. If you have a partner, they too can learn some of the many exercises that awakens healing.
Seeing a Therapist for Sexual Healing Work
There are some potential hazards and pitfalls for having a therapist do the work. If things go well, the therapist often becomes the object of transference, which means that the client believes that their new-found awakening is attached to the healer.
Having a Friend or Partner Do the Work
Having a friend or partner do the healing work can also have some potential pitfalls. For example, if deep wounds are awakened, the recipient of sexual healing might project some of their hurt and rage onto that person, which of course could take a serious toll on the relationship.
Pitfalls and Rewards of Sexual Healing
Although there are precautions we can take to avoid the pitfalls of sexual therapy, with such a taboo subject that embodies so many deep issues, there are no guarantees.
Whenever we find the courage to walk through the gauntlet of sexual healing, the rewards are countless and far-reaching. The pace of the healing varies from person to person, but the ultimate goal is to experience Divine Union with God, our inner self, our body, and with others—including a partner.
Sexual healing can mean the release of shame, guilt, tension, and pain, as well as the awakening of unconditional love and self-worth—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As we heal these issues for ourselves, we also bring the healing to everyone else.